I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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