the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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