Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
