Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
