you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
