U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
