Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
