dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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