He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
