It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
