If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize