i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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