I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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