it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
