apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
