I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize