Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
