What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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