thus making me awesome and them whores
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
