I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize