i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So. Much. Porn.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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