Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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