do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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