I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
