We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
