why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i drank out of a bidet.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
