singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
