Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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