Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
