don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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