I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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