As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
