3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I will be naked everywhere
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
