Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
