I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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