normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
