You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
