dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
