Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
