They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
