that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
