just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We're too hungover to prance.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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