I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize