so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
