Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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