a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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