"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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