No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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