Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
