Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
