i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Be still, my beating vagina.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize