Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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