So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You've changed since you got that strap on
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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