I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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