it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I am naked and annoyed.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
