I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
