Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
