You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
