You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
