i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
