i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
