yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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