and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
