Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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